Jedward Genius

From Supersuper.com:

The other day, I (@GFOTY) was feeling L.O.W. because of these cold, dark and lonely nights… guys were all being pretty wack and I simply couldn’t bear the thought of another night with someone who wasn’t in the public eye. So what did I do? Simple! I found my two favorite boys (and they happened to be twins)! I FOUND JEDWARD – AND WE WENT ON A DATE. Here’s how it went!

@GFOTY: We’re on a date! What were your dreams about last night?

J: Hey, we’re JEDWARD, and our dreams are always random – always totally crazy. Last night I went to bed, and I was running, and out of nowhere the ground just dropped and I was falling, like “Ahhh”…

E: Our wacky dreams are totally different, okay?

@GFOTY: Your new songs are SO Backstreet Boys-y! Have you got any slow jams lined up?

E: For our date?

@GFOTY: Not for our date! For your album!

J: LOADS.

E: We’re gonna write sweetheart songs about what girls like to hear.

@GFOTY: What do girls like to hear?

J: Girls like songs where guys really care about them, and talk about love and life experiences. Girls like break-ups, like, “Omg, that’s so nice”.

E: Now girls actually wanna go out with me and they say, “Edward, I’m waiting for you – are you waiting for me?” and I’m like…

@GFOTY: … No?

E: No! They talk to me and I don’t know what to say! They want to meet up, like, every single day!

J: Me and Edward have respect for girls.

@GFOTY: Have you been to Johnny Foxes before? It’s the highest pub in Ireland – all the celebs go there…

J: No, we don’t drink. We never go to clubs. We don’t need to go anywhere – at our hotel there are always like, 200 fans, it’s crazy. We went to a crazy after-party – Westlife, JLS, Cher Lloyd, everyone was there… it was totally crazy. Me and Edward OWN the ghetto.

@GFOTY: You wanna be the cool guys?

J: Yeah, and we got there early, got the cool pictures and then left early. Everyone was like, “Oh no, they’re leaving”, and we were like, “Peace Out, Peace Out”.

J: *Sings* Ohhoh oh ohhh oh oh ohhohhh…

J: *Starts clicking* I think we’re really cool kids. So we don’t look old, we look 16.

@GFOTY: I’m talking to you guys, but you’re not including me… L

J: People think we’re not into fashion, but we totally are.

@GFOTY: We can talk about fashion after…

J: Jeremy Scott thinks we totally rock, yeah? We’re the way forward in fashion…

@GFOTY: OMJ(edward)!!!… If I had a twin and I was to go out with you (John), and my twin was to go out with you (Edward), and we both had twin babies, would our twin babies look the same?!

J: Our twins would be cooler than Edward’s twins, ‘cos I’m cooler than Edward.

E: We’d have to have that chemical thing to make sure we’d have twins, like test-tube babies.

@GFOTY: Is a Jedhug different to a normal hug?

J: A Jedhug is the best thing ever – it’s priceless, OMJ, a proper hug. All these girls across the world want a Jedhug. Other guys don’t really give them attention, but we give them attention and make them feel special.

@GFOTY: YOU’RE SO SWEET<3.

J: So, what lipstick are you wearing?

@GFOTY: It’s MAC, but it’s a mixture of a few – are you into it? Would you like some?

J: It might leave evidence on my face!

@GFOTY: OMJ(edward)! Are you guys good swimmers?

E: Yeah, we’re really good swimmers. Me and John are really good at sports.

J: We do everything! Sports, swimming, ice-skating, jumps and spinning and everything…

E: I remember when I went swimming when I was younger, and I put the armbands on my feet and nearly drowned.

J: Every time I think about swimming I go crazy! Imagine if your plane crashed and you were swimming in the ocean – it would be crazy…

@GFOTY: If you can swim, you’d be fine…

J: One thing though – all of the old people would be pulling at you.

@GFOTY: Why would there be old people there?!

J: I don’t know okay, but they wouldn’t know how to swim, so they’d be pulling at you and you’d have to be like, “Get off me, weirdoes”.

E: Just go and push everyone out of the way! Can you swim?

@GFOTY: I CAN SWIM SO WELL! I learnt when I was four. Can you fish though?

J: It’s kind of hard to fish, ‘cos we can’t stay quiet enough.

E: All the fish run away.

@GFOTY: OMJ(edward)!!! Can you make up a song about me? It can be a limerick, seeing as you’re Irish and all…

SONG COMMENCES…

J: I walked, in I saw this @GFOTY –

@GFOTY: – You’ve got to do it together.

E: You make me stay up all night, I want to go all night –

@GFOTY: – Where’s the rhyming? ‘Night’ can’t go with ‘night’…

J: This girl is so amazing…

E: You have that thing, that one thing that I need…

@GFOTY: She’s a show stopper stopper, she’s a jaw dropper dropper…

BOTH: And when she starts to talk-a talk-a, you start to stutter stutter…

@GFOTY: OMJ you guys are…

BOTH: She’s burning hot like a fire from her head to her toes…

@GFOTY: Thank you so much, that was –

J: Your eyes are so blue I just wanna frame you…

@GFOTY: You’re making me nervous! Have you got pet names for each other?

J: You might be nervous…

@GFOTY: Have you got pet names for each other?

E: What were you saying, pet names?

J: No, we don’t have pet names for each other, I call Edward ‘Ed-erd’.

E: ‘Ed-ERD’

@GFOTY: ‘ED-ERD’

E: I call John ‘JOHN’.

@GFOTY: OMJ, how would you put a hat on?

J: We’d put it on like this [Demonstrates. I have to imagine John’s hand is a hat…].

E: Like a pop-up book!

J: It works like this, see [Continues showing me how he’d put a hat on with his hand]!

E: OKAY, next question!

@GFOTY: Shout something out and we’ll talk about it…

J: Eyebrows!

@GFOTY: Not my eyebrows…!

E: Do you wear eyeliner?

@GFOTY: No…

E: Your hair’s quite short – did you cut your hair?

@GFOTY: Erm, yeah, anyway guys, this has been a lovely date!

J: If you straighten your hair it’ll look longer! You’re so hot right now because it’s winter, but it’s like summer in my eyes.

@GFOTY: Oh my god… I choose John <3…

It was the most perfect date a girl could ever ask for!

Jedward’s Five Rules Of Dating:

1) Don’t have any awkward silences in the date, and laugh at all their jokes.

2) Don’t lose eye contact.

3) Always be a gentleman.

4) No cheesy chat-up lines.

5) Girls – don’t play hard to get! A guy needs to know if you’re interested or not